Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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