He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
