the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
