based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize