He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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