she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize