yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
