no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My ass is underappreciated
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Randomize
