We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
