This dress was meant to end up on your floor
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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