Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
someone owes me an orgasm
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It's rum buckets o'clock
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
