Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
