you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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