Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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