am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
