look no pants
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
