areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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