Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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