if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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