Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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