Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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