2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize