doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
