worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
