If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
