She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I think people are normalizing furries
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
