Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
