I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
