I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
