too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize