she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I need water and some morals
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
