On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize