In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
