Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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