On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
