i just wanna soil my oats bro
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
