Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You were trust falling into bushes
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
