So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
