I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
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