Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
