yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
my phone needs a breathalizer
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
