I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize