Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
