No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
