Your face is a jimmy john
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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