Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
