yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
COCAINE IS GR8
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
