you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
