Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
