he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
