conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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