Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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