okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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