I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
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