A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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