found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
