What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
